To Do oR nOt To dO ThAt Is ThE QueSTioN?

Okay so Doug and I are both wondering what to do the twins school teacher told us that Dalton should apply for the spectrum program. He is very smart adn talented in lots of areas, but Daxton is as well just different, they have strengths but in different areas, like all kids right? Anyways we are concerned because of the effects it will have on Daxton for example Dalton is in SEM at school and Daxton the other day wanted to know why Dalton got to do it and not him. A question folks I could not answer. I know that Dalton would benefit from it greatly but I worry for Daxton and the stress it would put on there relationship, also would it be pushing him too hard and later hate school and everything that comes with it? I am really not sure how to handle this situation and am asking for help. Oh and here is another thing there preschool teacher recommened that we separate them for kindergarten, it was a hard decision adn something I didn't want to do but did anyway, yeah it ended up not a great thing to do they were both so miserable and if one wasn't crying the other was so for 1st I put them together again and of course this year, so if he does spectrum then they will be separted again, do I talk with both of them and ask them? Do I let Dalton make the final decision? Lots of questions and not sure of the approach to take. Let me know.